Lately, too much unhappinesss. i don't even noe wad to say. family just keeps scolding me, and because thr's something wrong with me, friends are breaking up. sigh,my suicidal thoughts and self- mutilation thoughts are coming up again... someone, kill me pls. u don't even need to think about it.

tired of everything. hard work? vindication? my 10 yrs of feeling hurt? why? maybe, like wad sis says, i'm becoming a manipulator. i wasn't like this before... my beliefs change, to a total diff view point, "to get what u want in life, kill others?!" "to play smart in life, be a pokerface?" is it wad changed me?

I'm going through a very difficult and trying time. please, use ur hearts to listen. To listen to someone who was once badly hurt, and so uses violence and revenge to get she wants in life.

now, my heart feels so heavy. like, thousands of sharps just knifed me through. i'm no longer bleeding, because of the excessive blood that has been shed for the past 10 yrs.

& yes, it is the point where i'm changing into a cold blooded monster. full of past hurt, everyone just tells me to forget about my past to move on to the future. when i speak about it, just kindly think, will u be just like me. sensitive, petty and wadever negative qualities u can think of?

SAVE ME AND FORGIVE MY PAST MISDEEDS.
JUST, FORGIVE ME

http://www.namelessmemory.blogspot.com
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