Hold me close

Many probs during wk 8 and 9. Glad everything's settled?
kinda calm now.

1. Grp prob. Sighh.
felt that i was so weak as a leader. I mean, i knw i did all the right and rational decisions, but somehow.. ppl's mindsets are jst... *speechless*Dont wish to elaborate, but it's jst that i find myself so childish in confiding in ppl. When i refected agn, no.. I jst wna have guidance on which way is better. I have to grow up and think maturely. Sad to say, one may age but mentally wise maybe unwise.

2. Death of a junior.
3 yrs younger, CCA junior. Committed suicide 7 December 2010. Unknown reasons. Because of that, i fear for my friends. We're at a high risk age of suicide. Pls my dear friends, before you jump, pls call me. I may be busy. but if you state emergency, I WILL listen. Dearest junior, you're being missed. You cld've called me. but why...

3. Friendship.
Someone you thought as a friend, a sister betrayed you. That's hurtful. I'm sorry, i no longer gve chances. Once, and everything is ovr. i wna jst kp protecting myself. Yes, i can be nice. but don't cross the limits. And now, I no longer give a fuck. Your status as a friend as dropped to an aquintance. I'm sorry, i don't label anyone as BFF.

Hey you ppl who Think I'm weird. Who the fuck cares? Me? Nahh.. I'm an individualistic. I don't conform to social norms and I will NOT conform to your norms. I live as according to MY rules and my style of living, afterall it's my life, so who're you to dictate? Go bang the wall loser. Don't try to act like Hitler. Ridiculous superficial bitches.

4. Went for suntec fair 19/12/10
bought a lot of stuff! shagged but gd buy
ohya! i learnt hw to meditate.
hmmh. maybe can reduce my anger
Ohyah, found out at 18, i ald experience light slp bec i think while i slp. If at 40, i may have insomnia, Wow.

5. confession
anger, impulsive, sadist issues

6.Babies
I don't exactly hate thm. jst dislike thm. I realise i can be ok with thm, jst tht, i'm slack but responsible type. Y'knw, i view thm as a burden bec i'm nt prepared fr motherhood, major responsibilities.

Yeah, jst ranting!